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The wedding is around the corner. Your wife-to-be is expecting you to have your vows ready.
Are you working on them?
You want your vows to be romantic, authentic, and unique. You want to be a little emotional, but you don’t want to sob and lose composure.
In this article, you will get a formula you can use to craft some vows that will blow her away and have the audience laughing and crying as they watch you upfront.
Advice for the analytical type:
Just in case you are the analytical type (Like me): It’s ok to be a little bit “cheesy” and “mushy” in the vows. Relax, this is not an executive briefing to the board; these are your wedding vows! And don’t worry, I will show you a way to minimize the cheese factor dramatically and still have great vows.
Wedding Vows For Her: The Definitive Guide
Great wedding vows follow a simple structure. Stick to the structure yours will flow and be amazing, deviate from the structure, and you will be playing Russian Roulette. No pressure.
You use the structure to fill in your content. The content you use should be unique and authentic. And that’s it.
Ok here is the 5 step formula
1. Hook
2. Revelation
3. Promises / Vows
4. Wrap up
5. Bookending (optional)
Step 1: Create The Hook
In the hook section, your job is to grab your future wife’s attention along with the audience. Usually, the hook is a particular and concise story about a major incident in the relationship. The incident could be the first time you meet, the first time you kissed, the first date, the second date, a hike you took, etc. It has to be a unique point in the relationship; a time you realized something about your life with this person in front of you.
Here are a couple of hooks from clients:
Example of Hook number 1
{Name of wife to be}, I remember the first time we meet. I had a broken arm in a cast, and immediately after I had said hi, you reached out and grabbed my broken arm and moved it and said: “It’s ok I am a doctor.” Wow, you had me intrigued right away …
Example of Hook number 2
{Name of wife to be}, Remember after our second date when I asked a complete stranger to take a picture of us on my phone. That’s the day I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with you and I wanted the picture to remind us of the beginning of our love story…
Step 2: Write The Revelation
Here you reveal the reasons for the decision to spend the rest of your life with her. I know the decision is not entirely rational, but you have to come up with one or few things that lead to that decision.
Also, if you know, you are going to be emotional use the revelation to insert humor breaks. A humor break is a fast line of humor that caused you, and others to laugh. Usually, it’s self-depreciation (see example in Revelation #1 below. Always use yourself as the source of humor and never her).
Here are some revelations from clients:
Example 1: Revelation
You are kind and beautiful. I love how you spend your weekends caring for senior dogs so that they don’t get euthanized. I know it’s a lot of work, but you do it because you have an incredible heart.
You are so thoughtful. I love it when you go shopping for yourself; you always buy me something as well. I know if you don’t buy me clothes I will wear the same outfit for years! (this is a humor break) I never thank you enough for that.
Example 2: Revelation
Three years ago, we hiked to the top of a mountain in Hawaii. You were running up carrying my bag and your bag, and I was barely making it (self-depreciation as a form of humor break). I remember looking at you and admiring your athletic ability. It hit me then; you are smart, successful, beautiful and athletic, deadly combination :). That’s when I thought to myself I want to marry this woman.
Step 3: Craft The Promises
In the vows section, you deliver your promises to her. Usually, 5-10 promises. I prefer it on the short side of 6 or 7 promises otherwise; it will feel long to you and the audience. Your job here is to keep it balanced between emotional/serious and humorous. As a rule of thumb, you want to have one humorous vow for every 3-4 serious ones. You don’t want to overdo humor, just touch ups.
Here are some examples from clients: which one do you think is meant to be humorous?
I promise to love, honor, and respect you like you deserve
I promise to listen to you not try to solve your problems
I will love you faithfully and completely
I will have your back and will fight for you, and with you anytime you need me
I promise to eat my food more quietly and not make a mess when I am at home alone 🙂
Step 4: Wrap Up
In this section, you wrap the whole thing up. This one has to be serious with no humor breaks. The wrap up should be short and sweet and future-oriented.
Here are a couple of examples for wrap-ups:
Example 1:
{Name of wife to be}, I love you, and I promise to love you always. I am so excited about our future together. I know that when we are old with our kids and grandkids, we will look back at today, this moment, as the moment our future began.
Example 2:
{Name of wife to be}, I know that marriage is not easy. I know that it’s a commitment. And I assure you that I am completely in. I will work hard; I will fight and do whatever it takes for us. I will love you and cherish you forever.
Step 5: Bookend the Vows
Bookending is always an optional section. Not every vow speech lends itself to it. Vows must have the right setup for it to work. Usually, the setup starts with the hook. If you have the right hook, the book ending will be magical.
Here is an example of bookending based on a hook:
If the hook is the following:
{Name of wife to be}, I remember the first time we meet. I had a broken arm in a cast, and immediately after I had said hi, you reached out and grabbed my broken arm and moved it and said: “It’s ok I am a doctor.” Wow, you had me intrigued right away …(familiar?)
Bookending would look like this:
“Remember how on the first day you grabbed me by my arm. Now you have me by the heart! Love you.”
See how the book ending grabs what you said in the hook and uses it to end the speech.
Just remember, this is totally an option and cool if you can make it work. But it’s not crucial. Everything you’ve done before this will get you to shine and will make your wife glowing.
Conclusion
Your wife worked on her wedding vows. By following this article, you will be ready with a stunning and unique set of the most romantic wedding vows for her as well. Just remember to follow the formula and plug your own unique and authentic content.
Congratulations on your wedding!
